Spilluminating!

Black Friday

2011-03-24T11:20:00.000-07:00

Rebecca Black's video for the song "Friday" has over 43 million youtube views. The viral sensation has quickly become one of the most blogged-about topics this year. I figured I'd weigh in.

Instead of ranting about how Black's piece is the epitome of the unoriginal, simplistic, formulaic standards of pop [compare this track to "legitimate" hits by Bieber, the Black Eyed Peas, Ke$ha etc.) or about how the tragic lack of complexity in modern music reflects on people's capacity to appreciate art, or about how the Black plague will surely infect a slew of similar trust-fund-tweens who will release vapid "music" about edgy topics such as summer break, or hot topic, or Saturdays, or lol'ing, or tweens of the opposite gender, or parents, or breakfast, or whatever else, I'm just going to juxtapose "Friday" with a song released in 1960 - one of my favorite tunes - a song that I've been listening to and studying for a few years, and let the reader figure out what I'm trying to say.

Friday

Giant Steps

R.I.P. Spills

2011-03-13T14:33:00.000-07:00

This started out as a pathetic piece bemoaning the oh-so-tragic loss of a beautiful machine, and with it the (hopefully temporary) loss of my biggest asset: my (ability to be) passion(ate). I've since attempted to transform it into a post dealing with a more lofty subject, but please excuse any apocalyptic undertones you may sense - my wounds still sting.

I've had countless arguments about technology over the past five years. Being part of the music industry, I often find people who feel the Internet is the beginning of the end; who insist modern technology consists mainly of vile tools that bring out the basest aspects of the human psyche; the Internet enables people to wildly act without repercussion. Software (e.g. Garageband, FL Studio, Audacity) makes it easy for talentless fools to create magnificent music. Affordable high-quality cameras and YouTube make it easy for silly amateurs to accumulate Scorcese-esque accolades. And so on.

My opinion has always been the opposite. The Internet is a truly democratizing force, and modern technology is the crowning achievement of mankind. Everyone should have the ability to create art with ease. While this may lead to an abundance of crap, trusted gate-keepers who will filter out the garbage will inevitably emerge and prosper. The ubiquitous laptop and the un-tamable Internet are the two catalysts for a new age where any human has the opportunity to be heard by every human. This is the age of the idea. The rapid development of technology is an unstoppable train - fighting it is suicide - get on board, get out of the way, or be run over. Lately, however, I've been questioning a lot of the things I considered so obvious.

My relationship with my MacBook Pro was unhealthy - I've realized that, to some degree, for some time now. The first thing I picked up when I woke up, it was the last thing I put down before I slumbered. It provided me with entertainment, social interaction, inspiration, news, education, and, most importantly, an ability to make music. Every day, I processed all the inputs from reality, and regurgitated it back out in the form of two or three two-or-three-minute instrumental pieces of music. This process was intensely therapeutic. Regardless of what happened in my life, music creation was the rock I could cling to. After I finished a beat, a deep sense of peace - of satisfaction, of pride, of fulfilling one's purpose - always filled me. For my Mac, I felt as much love as one can possibly feel for a semi-animate object.

Over the past week, I've been laptop-less, I haven't made any music. I feel lost - I feel a loss of purpose, a loss of drive, a loss of passion. This has forced me to think about some difficult issues. Is it wise to invest so much of my life into something that could disappear so easily? Is it wise to invest so much of my life into anything at all? Is it smart to associate my self-worth with something so temporary? Is our relationship with technology taking away from our relationships with real humans? Will our reliance on computers someday lead to our downfall as a society?

I don't know the answers to these questions. But I do know that personally, I don't want to be on my deathbed and look back at a life lived sitting in front of a glowing screen. I know that the face-to-face relationships I have with people (which are, in reality, just as transient) are more important. I know that I need an outlet for my creativity that does not rely on expensive equipment. Going forward, I realize how important it is to have more than one basket to store my proverbial eggs. I know the inherent danger that comes with falling in love with a machine.

12/14 (India) Ruminations Before Breakfast

2010-12-13T18:58:00.000-08:00

This trip is different - I've been spending more time thinking about getting older. I feel a stronger connection to the family members we visit; even my close family members are getting visibly older. For the first time, I identify with them. I think, "They were like me not that long ago. Sooner than I think, that's going to be me, visited by a younger generation of kids that I simply cannot understand… nor will they understand me." On earlier trips, I was too bored and too uncomfortable to really attempt to make a connection during our visits. This time, I'm really listening, I'm looking at these people in the eyes, I'm asking questions.

I think about how in the year 2050, I'll be 63 years old. If I'm still alive. I wonder if I'll think back on this moment, perhaps on this blog post. I wonder if I'll miss my youth.

I hope not. I'm about to eat a delicious breakfast and this whole line of thought is doing wonders for my appetite. I want to make this breakfast one I'll remember in 2050. Thinking about the present from a future perspective is weird.

I wonder if we're the last generation who will live with poverty, with disease, with death. I think my kids' generation (if I have any) is going to have access to technology that will at least double the average life-span. I'm kind of jealous.

Song / Day

2010-06-17T09:15:00.000-07:00

So its been about 3 weeks since I've been back in the States. I've spent the majority of that time in Lexington, MA, in the house where I grew up.

Aside from applying to jobs and performing a couple shows in NYC, I've been spending my time writing and recording music. Its been a while since I released Alphabutter with Jesse so I decided to release the songs I make - one every day.

The project has been going on for 4 days now and, while difficult, its nice to have a pseudo-deadline, forcing me to be as productive as I can be.

Here are the tracks so far:

Day 1 - My Goals

My Goals by spillsmusic

Day 2 - Do ya like my beard??

Do ya like my beard?? by spillsmusic

Day 3 - "A Cannibal, a Cannonball" or "Eat Me"

"A Cannibal, a Cannonball" or "Eat Me" by spillsmusic

Day 4 - Yabadabadoo

Yabadabadoo by spillsmusic

Beats like babies

2010-04-26T02:46:00.000-07:00

Normally, as soon as I make a beat, ideas start galloping through my mind. A hook forms, I start recording. I listen to the beat over and over as I write verses / bridges, etc. I am in a zone, blissfully unaware of any problems, pain, or the passage of time.

Within a few hours, I have a complete song that I cannot stop listening to. My relationship with the song develops over the following days/weeks, and, depending on the song, I'll end up falling even deeper in love, or hating it with a passion.

Either way, I have a unique relationship with each song that I make. It represents a moment in time that can never be repeated. Each beat IS me, and I AM each beat.

Parting with my beats is always difficult. Every single one of them means a lot to me, regardless of any objective value which may or may not exist.

However, I gotta eat.

On this website, you'll find some of my recent work for sale. If interested in buying, please contact booking@feleciacruz.com.

Godspeed.

Spills.

Tiny Toones, etc.

2010-01-10T18:33:00.000-08:00

We've been gone for a week now, and its been a typical day for us in Phenom Phen. I was woken around 730 by feleciacruz, who showed me some of the edited alphabutter release party footage that she'll be uploading to YouTube soon. I walked outside, and heard around 5 grown men scream "SPILLLL!!!" At this point, they don't even ask me whether I want a tuk-tuk ride or not - they just come up and shoot the ish with me for a little, tell me about their escapades from the night before, ask about my night, etc. The language barrier is surprisingly irrelevant.

We then hit up our regular breakfast spot, the Indian restaurant around the block, for naans, samosas, and coffee. A little bit on the expensive side (read: $5 breakfast for 2) but its totally worth it. Felecia then goes off to edit video / upload pictures / twitter/facebook away, while I sit down to get some beats done. By noon / 1 pm, she's started her class with the kids, running around having a blast taking pictures for around an hour or so. Be sure to check her blog to see pics and get updates on how the class is going.

Yesterday, I went over to Tiny Toones Cambodia, an organization that uses "breakdancing, hip-hop music, and contemporary arts as creative tools to empower the youth of Cambodia to live healthier lives free of HIV and drugs, build a more promising future by furthering their educational opportunities, and become positive role models for their community. I had a great time chilling in their studio with their main producer, Peanut, who uses pretty much the exact same software that I do, in addition to some rockin' external hardware. I plan on going back often, and hopefully I'll be able to help them with many projects in the future.

It was somewhat surreal, as I got a little lost trying to find the place, and the area around there is pretty run down (that is, its more of an industrial area, not so many tourist spots - but the people were as friendly and helpful as elsewhere). When I got there, the place itself looked normal - but I stepped foot in the studio and was blown away by how hi-tech it was. MPC's, turn-tables, guitars, keyboards, people sitting around with macbook pros, sound-proofing all over, a HUGE vocal booth, great mic, etc. Peanut had me step in the booth to drop a quick free over some crazy Cambodian-sample-heavy hip hop beats. Its funny because his beats have a heavy west coast hip hop influence, and he uses a lot of Cambodian samples, whereas my beats have a more east-coast sound, and I use a lot of Indian samples. I think we'll be able to learn a lot from each other.

I got to play ball with one of their stars, a legendary little b-boy (I think he's around 7 or 8) who was featured in an article in the NYT. Then Peanut let me blast Alphabutter for a minute, and it seemed like they were all digging it.

Overall, things have been better than I could have hoped, and I plan on continuing to make music and explore this wonderful city.

Cambodia Calls

2010-01-06T21:43:00.000-08:00

The flight from JFK to Seoul Airport wasn't as productive as I hoped. I was aiming for 5 beats over the 14 hours in the air, but, as I slept through most of the flight, I was only able to make 2. They're pretty good, though.

We were stuck in Korea for a night, but Korean Air put us up in a decent hotel so that was no problem - same deal in Shanghai - so even though we were a few days late, we had a good time getting there.

We finally got to Phenom Phen around midnight on Wednesday. Driving to the hotel was a little sketchy, but we got there in one peace and had a comfortable nights sleep.

The whole time we 've been here, we've been trying to get online as much as possible to continue pushing the albums we released on the day we left - Alphabutter and the FFF mixtape. I'm extremely proud of both those projects, and the effort made by everyone involved - especially Jesse Abraham, Premonition, Warren Britt, and Jeanette Berry.

I bought a guitar here this morning, and we're planning on setting up a weekly acoustic gig at the hotel we're staying at - they seemed pretty excited about it.

Tomorrow, we're performing at Riverhouse Lounge with DJ Illest - I'm PSYCHED to rock out our first show in Cambodia - hopefully the first of many!

Hello World

2009-10-20T09:26:00.000-07:00

In January 2010, I'll be traveling across the world with Feleciacruz as part of a Fighting For Futures initiative.

In this blog, I will document our experiences leading up to and on our voyage. Topics covered will vary widely, depending on my mood and my thoughts. There will be minimal editing; what goes up will be what's in my brain.

I don't like to think of what we (will) do as philanthropic - that is, even though we'll be "teaching" photography and music to kids, I plan on learning more than teaching. I am not going to paint myself as a selfless saint - my goal is, in fact, self-serving.

I recently saw a tweet that made me think. It was something along the lines of "perception without familiarity is reality." When we are children, everything is new; our eyes are full of wonder and we play in the true sense of the word. As we grow older and more familiar with our surroundings, we start ignoring the magical absurdity of existence; we get caught up in bills, possessions, disagreements, politics, pain, and so many other things. We lose touch with reality as-it-is.

Is that what life is about? Growing up in a world without magic? Perhaps. But we can choose to constantly experience new things, to embrace change, to keep that innocent wonder commonly found in children.

Not all children have the good fortune to be able to live an innocent life. Some of the kids we will be working with in Cambodia have seen more horrors, worked more hours, shed more tears than many American adults - what I want to give them is a reflection of what I want to get from them: fresh eyes.

When one travels, one notices the beauty in the tiniest things. For example, every time I walk out of the Kochi Airport in Kerela, I am absolutely blown away by how green the trees are. Everything is brighter. The smells, the feelings, the sounds, the tastes of a new place really open up your mind! You become like a child, seeing the wonder in the tiniest things! This is "perceiving without familiarity"... this is experiencing reality as it is.

By playing with these kids - by "teaching" them about music and art, I hope to give them a brief moment of "fresh eyes" as well - an opportunity to share in the excitement and beauty of learning something new, seeing something a different way, and truly enjoying life to the fullest.